I took the subway down to Main Street I always did. The metal contraptions fascinated me, and the people amazed me. There were African Americans, Chinese, Japanese, Polynesians, gay, straight, and even retards sitting right next to me. At this moment it occurred to me that maybe if my parents had never met I could be one of these people but with my personality. New york really was a mixing pot of life. Rex caught my eye and I remembered why I was in this infernal contraption in the first place I had a job. I slid my tough callused hand through my hair brushing it back as I pushed my meaningless thoughts out of my head. I carefully checked my holster pretending to grab for my wallet lest any wary eyes be were watching. Immediately my hand recognized the familiar shape and weight of my beloved colt 45. I liked that gun, it had this cold intensity that made you feel its hunger for death. I didn't like killing but at least my gun was honest. Rex nodded to me as we reached our stop. "Rex give me the jist?" I muttered. "He owes us money." Rex retorted with his low but raspy voice. Old Rex, he was a man of few words. We walked until we reached an alley that smelled like roses and a faint tint of blood. We slowly snuck into the old Mexican bar through the back door in the alleyway. Old Rex liked to surprise his prey and strike fear in em. He did it anyway because he had a gruesome scar running down his cheek and he nearly reached eight feet. Rex played Football but couldn't go pro due to his habit of leaving people that gave him dirty looks in the hospital. But anyway we surprised the hell out of the fat Mexican storeowner who had to spin his chair all the way around to see us because his neck was so thick. I pulled out my colt and secured the area. You don't have to be the cops to secure an area. It doesn't take much training you just peep around all the hiding spots and shoot at anything that moves. The difference between the cops and us was that we didn't give a crap what we shot; our policy was shoot first and not care about who it was later. After concluding the battlefield had no trip mines, I decided that today was not going to feature a shoot out. I was extremely disappointed. "You owe us 2 gran." Rex stated The Mexican must have still been wetting his pants because he just gurgled a little bit. "You heard him where's the money!" I coldly yelled. The sound of my voice awoke him from his state of shock as if it were frigid water splashed upon a weary face. "I don't have it." He stated That's when things got messy. The door opposite the one we came through burst open, sending splinters across the room. Rex and I both hit the floor. As nimble as a cat Rex took out his gun and turned off the safety. I raised mine to fire when a chair hit me across the forehead. Birds sang as the sun rose over a beautiful pine forest, flourishing with greenery and a sense of home. I was floating naked over the landscape as faint and smooth as a white cloud. Soon I approached what appeared to be a mountain of epic proportion. Through further inspection I realized it was a deadly volcano brimming with lava. The Mountain was as black as my suit and radiating a bold degree of sheer hate. Threatening countless lives below, the volcano seemed familiar almost as if it were... My thoughts were cut off and extinguished as my heart ignited when I gazed upon a beautiful bird clothed in flames. A phoenix of legends and myths soaring before my eyes! I followed it to a nest composed of golden leaves and twigs. The phoenix perched upon the nest spread its wings as if to yawn. And it exploded in flames of a thousand hues. Shaken, I drew closer but all I could see was a pile of barren ash. I was turning back and had given up on the poor bird when I finally saw it. A glimmer of hope had reflected the sun's radiance. There in the middle of the ashes was an egg, small and fragile. Yet it radiated the most deep, powerful, and mysterious of feelings. Hope. I awoke from my mysterious dream to the punctuated sounds of gunshots. Surprisingly, despite my headache I was able to focus. I cautiously got up from the behind the table, the midday heat caused my pores to secrete a salty sweat. I saw a man yelling with a shotgun held up to his cheek. Aiming at what must have been Rex behind the bar counter. My mind processed the threat in the time it would take a man to blink. "This is easy." I thought to myself as I pulled the trigger. The shot hit the man right between the eyes. A second man stood up from behind a table. I twirled and shot the man dead. My aim was dead on. The man took the bullet in the heart, clean, instantaneous, calculated, void of hesitation, and efficient deaths. This is what I am. Rex and I took the bodies down to the harbor in garbage bags and tossed them out to sea. After our show of strength the Mexican was easily persuaded and then disposed of. All loose ends are cut in our business. Rex owned a white Cadillac that he would park at places of business before we met on the subway to ensure our own discretion. On the drive back to the Kill House Rex spoke needlessly for the first time in my vicinity. "Nice shot," he barked. I nodded and rubbed my head. Growing on my forehead was a lump an inch high and pulsing with intense pain. A small stream of blood had flowed from the wound blinding my left eye. I decided to go to the ER after we checked in with the boss. We reached the Kill House right before the sun fell off its throne. By that time my under shirt was soaked with blood and my head ached more than ever. I walked calmly into the deceivingly beautiful hotel we called the Kill House. "Don." Rex and I spoke in unison. Don was the boss of our crew he smelled strongly of roses, yet there was always a slight scent of blood that lingered with him. He had a clean-shaven face and always wore a black suit with a red tie. His hair was always magically slicked back perfectly, never had I seen a stray hair on Don. "You get the money?" Rex handed him a wad of cash. "Well done boys." He congratulated us. I sat down at the bar and ordered a celebratory shot of vodka. Don sat next to me and ordered the same. "Benito. Get that checked." He nodded at my head. Oh, right I forgot about my near death experience. I have always lived near death it didn't frighten me anymore. I've been riddled with four different bullets and counting. Once Don had reminded me of it, I realized that this hurt more than any bullet that had punctured my scarred skin. I walked to the hospital by myself. The waiting room was clean and the seats were dry and uncomfortable. I really hated hospitals, because it was too alcoholic and clean and partially because I didn't like to think about all the people I had put in here. I think its been thirty eight dead now… I sauntered in and passed out in one of the waiting chairs. I awoke with my eyes blurry and as they focused I found myself gazing into the most fathomless and beautiful eyes I have ever seen. Through my career of being a mobster I have seen many pretty faces mostly prostitutes. But none of them compared to this exquisite creature before me. I turned my head to the side half expecting to see my dead parents sitting beside me. For the thousandth time I was disappointed by my parents, the room was empty, no friends, and no family. That was the story of my life, but now this nurse? "You took quite a hit to the head." She stated sweetly. I regained my bearings and realized that I wasn't wearing anything but a hospital robe. I was extremely excited that maybe she had changed me when she spoke again, "I have got some bad news sir." "I can't have your number?" I asked. "I'm not supposed to date patients. But I think I can make an exception." She smiled, revealing her pearly white and perfect teeth. Wow, I loved this girl. "But, you need to know something." She warned. "What is it beautiful?" I expected a giggle but her face remained somber. It was bad. "Please just tell me." I begged. "You have Cancer." She mumbled. The head doctor walked in and told me I had about thirty-eight days to live. After the doctor left I nonchalantly asked the nurse to go to dinner. "Sure Ben." She replied. So she knew my name from my medical records. But I didn't know that at the time, and so I thought that it was only because she was an angel. "May I ask what your name is? Or shall I just call you beautiful" "Arya will do" she replied. I walked back to my parent. Sick with love. A feeling I had never felt before. Don't get me wrong I had, had girlfriends before but all were just items used to please my sexual desires. That's when the full weight of the situation fell upon me. I dropped to my knees and sobbed. My whole life I had been the hunter killing whomever I pleased. Now a force I couldn't fight was hunting me like a helpless bird. I had a due date and there was nothing I could do. I decided then and there I would never hurt another soul. Feeling vulnerable was the most depressing feeling I had ever felt. I felt enlightened but the epiphany of truth was not over yet. I realized that everyone had a story and mine was about to end. Arya and I wouldn't get married and live happily ever after. What was worse was that I now realized that I killed people, ended them, their story ended abruptly by my hand, I was a cancer to others and their families. I arrived at my house changed. Rex was waiting, "We got a job." He stated as simply as he would the sky is blue. I felt sick. I finally understood, life was a rose; it was beautiful yet covered in thorns waiting to bleed you like hunter does to its prey.
5-9-12
Cancerie
I took the subway down to Main Street I always did. The metal contraptions fascinated me, and the people amazed me. There were African Americans, Chinese, Japanese, Polynesians, gay, straight, and even retards sitting right next to me. At this moment it occurred to me that maybe if my parents had never met I could be one of these people but with my personality. New york really was a mixing pot of life. Rex caught my eye and I remembered why I was in this infernal contraption in the first place I had a job. I slid my tough callused hand through my hair brushing it back as I pushed my meaningless thoughts out of my head. I carefully checked my holster pretending to grab for my wallet lest any wary eyes be were watching. Immediately my hand recognized the familiar shape and weight of my beloved colt 45. I liked that gun, it had this cold intensity that made you feel its hunger for death. I didn't like killing but at least my gun was honest.
Rex nodded to me as we reached our stop. "Rex give me the jist?" I muttered. "He owes us money." Rex retorted with his low but raspy voice. Old Rex, he was a man of few words. We walked until we reached an alley that smelled like roses and a faint tint of blood. We slowly snuck into the old Mexican bar through the back door in the alleyway. Old Rex liked to surprise his prey and strike fear in em. He did it anyway because he had a gruesome scar running down his cheek and he nearly reached eight feet. Rex played Football but couldn't go pro due to his habit of leaving people that gave him dirty looks in the hospital. But anyway we surprised the hell out of the fat Mexican storeowner who had to spin his chair all the way around to see us because his neck was so thick. I pulled out my colt and secured the area. You don't have to be the cops to secure an area. It doesn't take much training you just peep around all the hiding spots and shoot at anything that moves. The difference between the cops and us was that we didn't give a crap what we shot; our policy was shoot first and not care about who it was later. After concluding the battlefield had no trip mines, I decided that today was not going to feature a shoot out. I was extremely disappointed.
"You owe us 2 gran." Rex stated
The Mexican must have still been wetting his pants because he just gurgled a little bit.
"You heard him where's the money!" I coldly yelled. The sound of my voice awoke him from his state of shock as if it were frigid water splashed upon a weary face.
"I don't have it." He stated
That's when things got messy. The door opposite the one we came through burst open, sending splinters across the room. Rex and I both hit the floor. As nimble as a cat Rex took out his gun and turned off the safety. I raised mine to fire when a chair hit me across the forehead.
Birds sang as the sun rose over a beautiful pine forest, flourishing with greenery and a sense of home. I was floating naked over the landscape as faint and smooth as a white cloud. Soon I approached what appeared to be a mountain of epic proportion. Through further inspection I realized it was a deadly volcano brimming with lava. The Mountain was as black as my suit and radiating a bold degree of sheer hate. Threatening countless lives below, the volcano seemed familiar almost as if it were... My thoughts were cut off and extinguished as my heart ignited when I gazed upon a beautiful bird clothed in flames. A phoenix of legends and myths soaring before my eyes! I followed it to a nest composed of golden leaves and twigs. The phoenix perched upon the nest spread its wings as if to yawn. And it exploded in flames of a thousand hues. Shaken, I drew closer but all I could see was a pile of barren ash. I was turning back and had given up on the poor bird when I finally saw it. A glimmer of hope had reflected the sun's radiance. There in the middle of the ashes was an egg, small and fragile. Yet it radiated the most deep, powerful, and mysterious of feelings. Hope.
I awoke from my mysterious dream to the punctuated sounds of gunshots. Surprisingly, despite my headache I was able to focus. I cautiously got up from the behind the table, the midday heat caused my pores to secrete a salty sweat. I saw a man yelling with a shotgun held up to his cheek. Aiming at what must have been Rex behind the bar counter. My mind processed the threat in the time it would take a man to blink. "This is easy." I thought to myself as I pulled the trigger. The shot hit the man right between the eyes. A second man stood up from behind a table. I twirled and shot the man dead. My aim was dead on. The man took the bullet in the heart, clean, instantaneous, calculated, void of hesitation, and efficient deaths. This is what I am.
Rex and I took the bodies down to the harbor in garbage bags and tossed them out to sea. After our show of strength the Mexican was easily persuaded and then disposed of. All loose ends are cut in our business. Rex owned a white Cadillac that he would park at places of business before we met on the subway to ensure our own discretion. On the drive back to the Kill House Rex spoke needlessly for the first time in my vicinity. "Nice shot," he barked. I nodded and rubbed my head. Growing on my forehead was a lump an inch high and pulsing with intense pain. A small stream of blood had flowed from the wound blinding my left eye. I decided to go to the ER after we checked in with the boss.
We reached the Kill House right before the sun fell off its throne. By that time my under shirt was soaked with blood and my head ached more than ever. I walked calmly into the deceivingly beautiful hotel we called the Kill House.
"Don." Rex and I spoke in unison. Don was the boss of our crew he smelled strongly of roses, yet there was always a slight scent of blood that lingered with him. He had a clean-shaven face and always wore a black suit with a red tie. His hair was always magically slicked back perfectly, never had I seen a stray hair on Don.
"You get the money?" Rex handed him a wad of cash.
"Well done boys." He congratulated us. I sat down at the bar and ordered a celebratory shot of vodka. Don sat next to me and ordered the same.
"Benito. Get that checked." He nodded at my head. Oh, right I forgot about my near death experience. I have always lived near death it didn't frighten me anymore. I've been riddled with four different bullets and counting. Once Don had reminded me of it, I realized that this hurt more than any bullet that had punctured my scarred skin.
I walked to the hospital by myself. The waiting room was clean and the seats were dry and uncomfortable. I really hated hospitals, because it was too alcoholic and clean and partially because I didn't like to think about all the people I had put in here. I think its been thirty eight dead now… I sauntered in and passed out in one of the waiting chairs.
I awoke with my eyes blurry and as they focused I found myself gazing into the most fathomless and beautiful eyes I have ever seen. Through my career of being a mobster I have seen many pretty faces mostly prostitutes. But none of them compared to this exquisite creature before me. I turned my head to the side half expecting to see my dead parents sitting beside me. For the thousandth time I was disappointed by my parents, the room was empty, no friends, and no family. That was the story of my life, but now this nurse?
"You took quite a hit to the head." She stated sweetly. I regained my bearings and realized that I wasn't wearing anything but a hospital robe. I was extremely excited that maybe she had changed me when she spoke again, "I have got some bad news sir."
"I can't have your number?" I asked.
"I'm not supposed to date patients. But I think I can make an exception." She smiled, revealing her pearly white and perfect teeth. Wow, I loved this girl.
"But, you need to know something." She warned.
"What is it beautiful?"
I expected a giggle but her face remained somber. It was bad.
"Please just tell me." I begged.
"You have Cancer." She mumbled.
The head doctor walked in and told me I had about thirty-eight days to live. After the doctor left I nonchalantly asked the nurse to go to dinner.
"Sure Ben." She replied. So she knew my name from my medical records. But I didn't know that at the time, and so I thought that it was only because she was an angel.
"May I ask what your name is? Or shall I just call you beautiful"
"Arya will do" she replied.
I walked back to my parent. Sick with love. A feeling I had never felt before. Don't get me wrong I had, had girlfriends before but all were just items used to please my sexual desires.
That's when the full weight of the situation fell upon me. I dropped to my knees and sobbed. My whole life I had been the hunter killing whomever I pleased. Now a force I couldn't fight was hunting me like a helpless bird. I had a due date and there was nothing I could do. I decided then and there I would never hurt another soul. Feeling vulnerable was the most depressing feeling I had ever felt. I felt enlightened but the epiphany of truth was not over yet. I realized that everyone had a story and mine was about to end. Arya and I wouldn't get married and live happily ever after. What was worse was that I now realized that I killed people, ended them, their story ended abruptly by my hand, I was a cancer to others and their families.
I arrived at my house changed. Rex was waiting, "We got a job." He stated as simply as he would the sky is blue. I felt sick. I finally understood, life was a rose; it was beautiful yet covered in thorns waiting to bleed you like hunter does to its prey.